Where Do We Go From Here?

Where does all this come from? Why do we do what we do? Why are we told to go study out the “list of rules” we are taught but then when we do and find something different or that what we are taught doesn’t make sense, we are still expected to blindly follow or else suffer the consequences.

Now maybe the consequences aren’t so severe as to exact a complete ex-communication, but in a manner of speaking, maybe it is. You get the label of backslider. If you continue to attend the congregation, you will be the focus of the altar calls, and you can no longer take part in the services as anything other than a bystander (unless you want to participate by going to the altar at altar call).

But on the other hand, as long as you’re (by all appearances) blindly following the “list of rules” which make you “saved,” then you will never be allowed to resign any of the roles in service of which you participate (without suffering through altar calls and sermons on taking up your cross and doing the job God has for you). God can never call you to anything else and if you feel that He is, you would be mistaken. So it would seem, that the only way to move on to what God is calling you to do, that you must get kicked out of your participation. I'm seriously not bitter about it, just confused.

Why does it all have to be so difficult. Why do PEOPLE have to be so difficult. And where do we go from here? Do we keep following the senseless rules so that we can keep our standing with people even though it’s not people’s opinion that makes you saved? Or do we drop it all and simply follow God even though it may mean the people label us as backsliders? Can we do both? My gut says there’s a pretty big fork in the road ahead and and my question remains…where do we go from here?

I don’t think I’m really doing so good on spelling out exactly what I’m thinking but…this has been another post from my rambling subconscious.

Sophie, out.

TV vs. Internet TV

TV is wrong, but you can watch the news or other “decent” TV shows online and it’s okay.

I don’t even know where to start with this one.  The verse that is used for this one is

“set no unclean thing before thine eyes”

So it’s not saying no TV, it’s saying don’t watch junk.  So first off, where do you get that the actual TV is wrong (since there ARE quite a few decent and occasionally enlightening shows out there that you could watch on it…hello Dog Whisperer…lol), and second of all, if it IS wrong, then how does watching it on your computer make it right? 

In my opinion (which of course, doesn’t count for much), it’s only wrong to have or watch TV (on the actual television OR internet) if you don’t have your priorities straight (or if you have an addiction to it and can’t control it). 

God should always be first.  But that goes for all kinds of things, not just TV…how ‘bout reading?  Or playing basketball with the guys?  Or going on vacation?  If it’s wrong to have downtime to watch something, it’s probably also wrong to have downtime to do any of those other things that we enjoy.

And if it’s an addiction and you’re hooked with no control, that’s a personal thing that God might ask you to work on and maybe give up, but again, that’s not just something that goes for TV, that goes for anything that you have a problem with and that should be on an individual level, not something you judge someone else on…

So is it wrong?  Is it a fellowship breaker?  Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t figure out why it should be.  If your heart is in the shape it’s supposed to be in, your TV won’t be misused or placed in the wrong priority…and if your heart is NOT in the shape it’s supposed to be in, TV is the least of your worries.  I just think this is one of those minor things that hangs people up when they should be worrying about the major things. 

Tricky Balance

Thing is, this balance thing isn’t just about how you look or what you wear (that’s just all I’ve gotten to so far).  But I’m not looking for an excuse to look different or change anything, my biggest issue is how can you witness to people of this “lifestyle” when you can’t even make sense of it yourself?  I can’t bring people into a church and lifestyle that I am having a hard time believing in myself.  I know, it’s always said, you don’t bring them to a church, you bring them to Jesus and He’ll show them how to live, but then when you do that, they are expected to come to OUR church and then in a given amount of time, it’s expected that God will show them that they are supposed to live this long list of rules. 

Now I don’t know if anyone else questions it or not, but it’s always been said when the changes in appearance start showing up that “God showed them.”  Did He really?  Or was it more that everyone else was doing it and so it must be the right thing to do.  No, you don’t HAVE to say anything if the majority is doing it…nobody wants to be the odd duck.  Especially  when it comes to being part of a group that’s going to heaven.

But if they look like they’ve changed the outside, it’s all good and everybody’s happy (even if they don’t quite understand why they are doing certain things…just that God must be in it). 

But then trouble comes if the individual doesn’t start showing outward changes in a certain amount of time.  In that case, the general perception is that they didn’t get anything in the first place, the individual is treated differently (as if they don’t really want to be part of the group after all and just needs to get saved again, and the group moves on), and the individual eventually disappears (which in the group’s mind proves their original point and they may or may not go back and try to win back this poor backslidden soul). 

Now in some cases, that might have been a true perception, maybe they really didn’t get anything in the first place.  But maybe it was because it was the dress code or the list of do’s and don’ts that was preached and little or nothing about what should be working on the INSIDE. 

Maybe I’m wrong.  Maybe I’m not.  Maybe I’ll figure it all out one day.

Shine On, Shine Off?

You can put products in your hair to make it shiny and healthy and prevent breakage but you can’t put anything on your fingernails to make them shiny and healthy and prevent breakage. 

Well this is a pretty straightforward crazy rule.  As far as I’ve ever found, there isn’t anything in the Bible regarding hair products and what you can use to keep it healthy and shiny.  Or even whether or not you should be able to change the color or not.  That brings to mind another one of those controversial rules…

You can’t dye your hair because God gave you the color He wants you to have.  However, He also gave women hair on their legs and in their armpits but it’s okay to shave that off. 

Okay there are lots of weird rules on hair…I guess hair might get it’s own separate post. 

But moving on with the healthy hair thing.  So you can use frizz out and moisturizing shampoos and hairspray and whatever else you need (as long as it doesn’t alter your color any) to make your hair look it’s best (which I am all in favor of the “hair looking it’s best” part) but if you put any kind of healthy nail formula on your nails (even if it’s clear and isn’t changing the natural look God gave us), you’re on the broad way that leadeth to destruction.  I mean, really?  Where do you get that? 

Granted, there’s a balance…dying your hair purple or wearing hot pink sparkly nail polish isn’t exactly demonstrating modesty, which is DEFINITELY in the Bible.  But there IS a balance.  Why is that so difficult? 

I think another post on balance would be good…that is really what I’m looking for right now. 

The Great Lengths Battle

This isn’t the craziest rule, just the first one I’m elaborating on…as I said before, I’m not posting these according to level of craziness since they’re pretty much all on the same level…with that said…

Pants that end just below the knee (aka shorts) on men are sinful.  However, girls can wear skirts ranging in length from just below the knee to the floor and it’s modest. 

Now that statement alone would be enough to make a person question the sanity of that rule, but let me just throw out one of the major arguments in favor of the women’s dress standard:

Men are turned on by sight and therefore women should dress modestly so we don’t cause them to sin (I just summed up at least an hours worth of sermon in that one statement—wow, I’m good.  LOL). 

Now taking that argument, wouldn’t the rule make more sense if it was the other way around?  Not that I’m saying it should be, just that it would make more sense if it was.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not disagreeing with modesty, because the Bible DOES call for modesty, I’m simply saying that modesty is subjective.  As in, something that God shows you as an individual, not something that can be defined by a set of rules. 

I personally do not feel anything wrong with skirts that are below the knee or longer, and I’d have to say that the majority of conservatives would agree with that statement. 

However, on the flip side (and the majority of conservatives would NOT agree with this statement), I do not feel anything is wrong with PANTS that are below the knee or longer. 

Strangely enough, I don’t walk around drooling at the sight of a man’s calf or shin, and in all seriousness, I don’t generally walk around looking at the legs of guys in shorts, period.  And I don’t know of anyone who does.  Seriously, I mean even if I were to notice a guys legs, they usually look kinda like their arms and it’s not something that would give a girl heart palpitations or anything.  And although I can’t speak from a guy’s perspective, I don’t think they lust after our calves or shins (especially not mine, thanks to a childhood as a tomboy).  LOL. 

Perhaps I’m wrong.  It wouldn’t be the first time, but I just can’t see any sense in this rule. 

He Is

Father, let the world just fade away
Let me feel your presence in this place
Lord, I’ve never been so weary
How I need to know you’re near me
Father, let the world just fade away
Till I’m on my knees
Till my heart can sing
 
He is
He was
He always will be

Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
He is

Father, let your Holy Spirit sing
Let it calm the storm inside of me
As I stand amazed
Lift my hands and say

He is
He was
He always will be

He lives
He loves
He’s always with me

Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
Through every fear
And every doubt
And every tear I shed
Down every road
I’m not alone
No matter where I am

He is
He was
And He always will be
He lives
He loves
He’s always with me

Even when it feels like there is no one holding me
Be still, my soul
Be still, and know
Be still, my soul
He is

This song speaks volumes…monumental truths contained there, and so encouraging to remind myself, that even as I’m seeking, no matter where I am, He still IS.  Thank God. 

(Song is by Mark Schultz I think.) 

Common Sense

Sometimes I just can’t help but wonder where common sense went?  I don’t know who made up some of these “rules” that the conservative movement lives by, but some of them just don’t make good horse sense. 

Like how one thing is taboo for this reason, but another thing (using the same reasoning) is okay.  Perhaps I shall elaborate further in other posts.  I would post them in order of ridiculousness, but I’m not sure that’s possible since most of them fall pretty much in the same category.

Yet, any time you doubt any of those crazy rules, you’re automatically dropped in one of the following categories:

• Making room for the flesh
• Having a spirit of worldliness
• Backslidden (or in the process of backsliding)

Why is that?  Why is it a problem to question things? 

Is it because they have a flimsy (and perhaps un-biblical) foundation and you don’t want that to be uncovered?  Or is it more that there is a concern that if one thing is let go, that everything else will change?  And although I can kinda see where that argument would come from, since I’ve seen those that have let one thing go and then went crazy, I just wonder why there can’t be a balance?  No crazy rules and no going crazy without those crazy rules? 

Common sense…is that too much to ask?

Seeking The Balance

Being brought up in a very conservative environment, certain ways and thought patterns have kinda been ingrained into me.  Many things just WERE, and many times without any real basis.  Just because. 

And those who didn’t do or look like we did…well, they were all sinners.  And if they were “church-goers” and didn’t do or look like we did, there was “righteous judgment” reserved for those poor individuals (except it was always shared with other holy righteous ones, rarely spoken to God about, and almost NEVER shared with the offender).  Heaven forbid we remember that gossip is also a sin. 

As I have gotten older and slightly more open-minded (that fact alone would reserve some pretty harsh judgment for me, I’m afraid), I have tried to study out the things that we have always been taught.  The studying (along with some common sense) has raised many questions. 

A lot of questions that the standard jargon just doesn’t adequately answer.  And one person even told me that when you start questioning the “old ways” you’ve already lost anything you ever had. 

See what I mean about the “righteous” judgment thing?  You don’t even have to DO differently, just have a few doubts about it and you can still qualify for a healthy dose of judgmentalism.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the forest for the trees…it’s easy to see all the negative aspects of it, and the people who are haters, and the rules that don’t make sense.  It’s not all negatives.  But when a person is seeking the balance and there’s a load of negative on one side, it’s difficult not to automatically compensate by leaning toward the other.   

This is another reason for the opening of this blog.  To clear my mind and vent some of my thoughts, frustrations, and questions without invoking the wrath and judgment of the close-minded ones who may read my real life blog. 

I feel a little alone because although I have talked to Zeke and a few other close friends about this, at this point, no one I know has this blog address or knows I’m attached to it.  But God does.  And I know I’m never truly alone.  Most of the time that’s comforting.  LOL. 

God, please clear my thoughts and help me find YOUR balance.  Not what I’ve always been taught, not what everybody around me says, but what you say.  Thanks Lord.

Wednesdays Are Sacred

You know what really bugs me?  The way that you can be in service 5 nights out of 7 but if you miss the regular midweek service at your church, you’re “doomed.” 

Or even if you are NOT in service that many nights—if you miss a midweek service, your salvation can not remain intact.  Are you saying God’s not great enough to keep you a whole week between Sunday Services? 

Just curious, but where’s that in the Bible?  Yeah, I know it says “forsake not the assembling of yourselves” but who said the assembling must be on Sunday’s and Wednesdays?  For that matter, who said the assembling must be in a church? 

And for pity’s sake…the old “oh, it’s such a surprise to see you on a Wed night” comments don’t really inspire me when I’ve only missed a handful of Wed nights over the past few months.  I’m not a hater, it’s only that some things just don’t make much sense when you say them out loud. 

Cast Of Characters

Sophie: the writer of this here blog
Zeke: the man the writer married
Nellie: the girl child
Wilbur: the boy child
Gertrude: the girl half of the twins
Clyde: the boy half of the twins

Lillian: the mother of the writer of this here blog
Orville: the father of the writer of this here blog

Ethel: the mother of the man the writer married
George: the man the mother (of the man the writer married) married

Others to be determined as necessary