Random Thoughts

How many of our thoughts are actually “speakable?” 

In any given church service, if we took the time to document every thought that went through our mind…well, I know I was surprised at just how un-focused I can be…and at the fact that I wouldn’t be able to say a good many of them out loud because they weren’t very nice.  Yikes. 

For instance: in a little over an hour of sermon, I filled up front and back of a sheet of paper and then was scribbling all in the margins.  Random quotes from the sermon that were of interest or that sparked other thoughts, random thoughts that just popped into my head, etc…

Quite the interesting experiment, to say the least! 

Italics is what someone else said, regular font is what I was thinking. 

• “Our opinion doesn’t matter.  We need to live what Christ teaches.”  What if it’s not our opinion though?  What if what we’re living is someone else’s opinion/man’s tradition and not what the Bible teaches?
• Man, my stomach is growling. 
• Oops.  Can’t write this one down. 
• “Women get all their divine revelations from Walmart.”  No, they don’t.  I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a divine revelation from Walmart. 
• …depends on how they say it.  If they do it in a joking manner.  Reminds me of that person that said one time about how at least half of what you say in jesting you actually mean…
• rebuke…all longsuffering…(referencing Timothy) patience.  Rebuke…longsuffering…meaning to be patient and not be ready with an instant rebuke? 
• “We don’t have a ministry – it’s the ministry of Christ.  We just need to pick up His ministry and carry it on…further it.”  So instead of looking for a new ministry, we just look around to see what’s being left off, and pick it up and further it? 
• Where’s he going with this?
• It’s funny how I filter my thoughts when I’m paying attention to them. 
• Why does he always look at me when he asks those kinds of questions?
• Woop.  Can’t write that one down. 
• Yeah, no kidding on that one!
• Good grief!  Some people’s….um…never mind. 
• “…one time can change things for you for the rest of your life.”  Yeah, no kidding about that…can’t write the rest of that thought down…
• Wonder when the last time he was in a movie theater…that stuff doesn’t happen anymore. 
• Uh-oh.  Got me there.
• Amen.  It’s almost 8 and I’m hungry!
• Uhm…yeah!  No kiddin!
• “My tummy’s growlin, cuz it’s hungry.” (that one was Wilbur)  Uh, yeah buddy, I know the feelin!
• Uh-oh…so I guess thinking about how much they annoy me instead of how much I love them is not such a pure thought.
• Whatsoever things are…lovely, pure….etc…
• “When we come to church and the service is draggy, it’s because of what we’re allowing to go through our minds.”
• Hmm…so if I’m thinking about how I can’t write some of this on my blog, then I probably don’t want to hear what God would think about it.  But then, I think maybe people are more offended by things than God is…
• “…WWJD is actually a GOOD thought.” I wonder if it should be WWJT (what would Jesus THINK?)  =)
• I’m not starchy.  Much. 
• No kiddin, there’s hypocrites in the church. 
• Yeah, you promised that a good half hour ago…I don’t think that thought has made it to your heart yet because you’re still going….

Hmmmmm…interesting experiment.  Kept me occupied all service….lol. 

Un-Stuck

Well, in regards to a previous post, it’s beginning to make a little more sense.  I have to admit that I haven’t been studying lately like I should have been, mostly because it’s easier to simply believe what I’ve always believed if I don’t try to study it out.  But I have started picking back up on the studying…very slowly.  That, with some quality intelligent conversation with other people (not necessarily people in agreement with my unusual opinions), has cleared up some of the confusion. 

The crazy rules are still crazy.  There are a lot of things the church does and teaches that doesn’t make sense.  But I have to agree with Zeke, in that it’s important to focus on “what really matters!”  And what DOES really matter? 

Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.  (Matthew 22:37-40)

A lot of this other stuff?  Well, it doesn’t really matter.  How does making up illogical rules play into loving God with all your heart?  Does it help you love your neighbor more?  Well, then who really cares?  Are we in this thing to keep the church happy or to win souls for God and keep Him happy?  And is what the church teaches REALLY what God is focusing on?

But in vain they do worship me, teaching for doctrines the commandments of men.  (Matthew 15:9)

In this specific instance, Jesus was talking about a particular tradition that the Pharisees had about washing hands before they ate, but it still makes sense…and farther down:

But those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart; and they defile the man. For out of the heart proceed evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, blasphemies: These are the things which defile a man: but to eat with unwashen hands defileth not a man.  (Matthew 15:18-20)

So you’re not accused of sin today because you eat without washing your hands, but a lot of these crazy rules are pointed toward what your outside looks like.  And we don’t spend a whole lot of time talking about the inside…what REALLY matters is that your heart is right. 

Bitterness?  Attitudes?  Gossip?  Don’t hear much about that…those are acceptable sins…even though those are the ones that the Bible is PLAIN and CLEAR about…

Your hair must have dead ends and never be cut, the skirts have to be 5 inches below the knee, and heaven forbid you enhance your appearance in any way, or have a television in your house…none of which are specifically wrong according to the Bible, but yet, THAT is what we preach about and focus on? 

What REALLY matters?  I don’t know about anyone else, but I feel like I need to worry more about pleasing God with my HEART instead of being so concerned with staying inside that box of rules that the church teaches. 

Again, don’t get me wrong, I’m not throwing out all of it, I still believe modesty is Biblical, but I’m all about balance and logic and I don’t think it’s quite been achieved yet. 

And that’s where I am.  Not looking for excuses to change, or even really changing much even though I don’t see things the same way anymore, I’m just looking for what really matters.  And praying that God helps me find it.

Facebook Drama

This has nothing to do with doctrinal issues, but I just have to have a moment to vent. I'm so disgusted with people lately. And this is definitely one of those things you cannot say with your name attached to it because then people know exactly who you’re talking about.

WHY? I just need to know why people think it’s okay to post Bible verses as your status in response to something else that has been stated or posted? And then say it was something that was on your mind and not directed at specific people…? Really? So if someone JUST said it and then you JUST mention it in your status along with a scripture beating up on it, how is it NOT in response to that specific person? If preachers aren’t supposed to preach sermons AT specific people and use scripture to bash them up, what makes you think throwing scriptures at people on facebook is any better? UGH! And the worst part is it's not just one person...it's a growing habit... :o(

Do you know how bad I want to post some Bible verses of my own?

How about this one:
But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters. (1 Peter 4:15)

Or maybe:
Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. (Matthew 18:15)

Wow, it’s so tempting. But then I'd be just like them and I refuse.

But back to Matthew 18:15…you know, if you have a problem with someone doing something, tell them personally, don't make it your status on Facebook and get drama all started up!

And when it comes to "telling them personally," I know we don't ALWAYS go personally to people we have issues with, sometimes for good reasons, but announcing those issues in your status on Facebook is like walking into a crowded room and screaming out your problem with that person. I don’t think that could be called private by any sense of the imagination.

I’m not perfect, and I know we all do stupid from time to time, it just seems like this is becoming a popular way of doing stupid…and it irritates the FIRE out of me.

PS In both situations where it involved us, we talked to the people about it, so we're clear. Haha.

This topic is just something that seems to be growing in popularity and these “obscure” and “veiled” references to people using scripture or quotes is just annoying. I don’t get on Facebook to get a sermon about every thing and every one that you disagree with. Ugh.

Stuck.

I don’t know what to say.  I’m kind of at a loss.  I’m not sure I want to say some things out loud…even though no one I know (well besides my friend, Elle) reads this, I’m just afraid that if I put more of these common sense things in writing…I’m going to influence people to worldliness.  Because everything I’ve always been taught tells me that this type of thinking is nothing BUT worldliness. 

And not just everything I’ve always been taught…everything that’s STILL taught in the church I STILL go to…

And of course, I don’t want to be the influence that helps turn people to worldliness.  That’s not what I’m after at all. 

I’m just not sure anymore.  Everything from the pulpit these days is hammering hard on how all these “crazy rules” are true and we should follow them, and I don’t understand how they can say it’s GOD when there’s nothing in the Bible to back it up.  But at the same time, they sincerely believe it, and I’ve always been taught it, so it’s hard to just discard it as just man’s opinion.  

But then when I study, I’m having a hard time with that, too, because the only thing that happens is I find more questions.  I don’t know.  I really just don’t know. 

I feel kind of stuck.  This is just where I am. 

This verse stood out to me this last week:

Isaiah 54:10
For the mountains shall depart, and the hills be removed; but my kindness shall not depart from thee, neither shall the covenant of my peace be removed, saith the LORD that hath mercy on thee.

According to the last verse of that chapter, He was referring to the servants of the Lord, so…hopefully He will include me on that promise. 

Sunday Musings

It seems like every time I go to church these days, whether it was a great service or one of them tight and dry ones, I always come home with an urge to vent out some anonymous thoughts. 

For starters, when I walked in this morning I got the handshake and the question.  You know the one, comes right after the “How are you today, Sister?”  Goes something like “Everything okay?  You sure?” and is accompanied by the serious, intense look. 

It works really well.  I went on in to the sanctuary feeling even more like a terrible backslider (or at least one well on her way) and I haven’t done anything except ask questions and seek the truth. 

The tough part is that I love all those people.  And I know that if I don’t abide by that “list of rules” those relationships will take a drastic turn.  I’m not trying to change, I’m trying to understand.  Maybe that’s changing me. 

All I know is that everything I was raised to believe tells me that if I don’t believe and follow the “old ways” without question then I am indeed a backslider and I don’t know how to get away from that even when the truth is looking more and more like something different.  Especially when all we hear is that God wants to take away this and take away that and if you back up on anything, you’re not walking in all the light and that makes it sin for you.  Is asking questions and trying to understand and make sense of these things “backing up on truth?”  Well, apparently it is, if you aren’t coming up with their answers. 

I just need to understand.  I need to know what God wants.  And then I’ll be more than happy to do it.  I’m just having serious doubts that what a man says is “God’s List of Do’s and Do Not’s” really is GOD’S list…

Totally

This devotion hit me exactly where I needed it. 

I can relate.  It says what I feel.  Exactly. 

Where Do We Go From Here?

Where does all this come from? Why do we do what we do? Why are we told to go study out the “list of rules” we are taught but then when we do and find something different or that what we are taught doesn’t make sense, we are still expected to blindly follow or else suffer the consequences.

Now maybe the consequences aren’t so severe as to exact a complete ex-communication, but in a manner of speaking, maybe it is. You get the label of backslider. If you continue to attend the congregation, you will be the focus of the altar calls, and you can no longer take part in the services as anything other than a bystander (unless you want to participate by going to the altar at altar call).

But on the other hand, as long as you’re (by all appearances) blindly following the “list of rules” which make you “saved,” then you will never be allowed to resign any of the roles in service of which you participate (without suffering through altar calls and sermons on taking up your cross and doing the job God has for you). God can never call you to anything else and if you feel that He is, you would be mistaken. So it would seem, that the only way to move on to what God is calling you to do, that you must get kicked out of your participation. I'm seriously not bitter about it, just confused.

Why does it all have to be so difficult. Why do PEOPLE have to be so difficult. And where do we go from here? Do we keep following the senseless rules so that we can keep our standing with people even though it’s not people’s opinion that makes you saved? Or do we drop it all and simply follow God even though it may mean the people label us as backsliders? Can we do both? My gut says there’s a pretty big fork in the road ahead and and my question remains…where do we go from here?

I don’t think I’m really doing so good on spelling out exactly what I’m thinking but…this has been another post from my rambling subconscious.

Sophie, out.